


The Biggest One

by slambam



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, Gift Giving, How Do I Tag This, POV Multiple, Slice of Life, cute gifts, grumpy inquisitor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 01:00:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5437589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slambam/pseuds/slambam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i> “If money’s the problem, it isn’t.” The Inquisitor’s voice was as hard as her eyes. “I need the biggest one you can get. I don’t care how much you need. Find it, and you’ll get paid. Handsomely.”</i><br/> </p><p>  <i>He had the sinking feeling that she might just use him for bait if he told her no. </i></p><p> <br/><i></i></p><p> </p><p>A little fic about a big present.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Biggest One

“I need the biggest one you have.”

 

Matthieu had seen Qunari at a distance once. Maybe. He was almost sure they were really big Avaar with funny helmets, but his friend Lewin swore up and down that they were actually Qunari. The woman in his office was definitely a Qunari, though, and if Lewin was in Matthieu's place he might have keeled over on the spot. She was very real, and very close, and very, very big. Her hands - as big as dinner plates, Maker - were planted firmly on his desk as she leaned forward, her eyes locked on his face. He felt like a rabbit with a hawk circling around above him.

 

“The biggest one we – we don’t really… we don’t really keep a back stock of these things, your – uh – your – ”

 

“Worship?” The dwarf who’d come in with the Inquisitor piped up from the back of the room. He sounded far too tickled by all this for how terrifying his friend was.

 

“Right, your – your Worship.” Matthieu swallowed, shrinking back under the Inquisitor’s gaze. She hadn’t blinked once. He wasn’t even sure her face had moved. “What I mean is that we have to trap them. Individually.”

 

“Then I need the biggest one you can _trap_.”

 

The sudden edge to her voice made him want to crawl into the trunk directly to his right and hope she forgot he was there.

 

“It’s not really – we can’t just put out more bait to make a bigger one show up. We just sort of put meat out and hope for the best.” Her stare hadn’t wavered, and he was running out of explanation. “Look, your Worship, there’s not a huge demand for these things. We haven’t really finessed the technique. You’re one of the only people who buys them – the only person who’s bought more than one, certainly, mostly we just do the horses, and – ”

 

“If money’s the problem, it isn’t.” The Inquisitor’s voice was as hard as her eyes. “I need the biggest one you can _get_. I don’t care how much you need. Find it, and you’ll get paid. Handsomely.”

 

He had the sinking feeling that she might just use him for bait if he told her no.

 

“I’ll see what I can do.” He clenched and unclenched his fists under the desk, hoping she wouldn’t notice the sweat on his upper lip. “We’ll… we’ll be in touch?”

 

She stared for a few more moments, then lifted her palms from the desk, seemingly satisfied. Had he been… had he actually been holding his breath? 

  

“We will be.”

 

With that, she turned on her heel and left, the Seeker she’d arrived with regarding him blankly before following. The dwarf slid from his seat to trail behind them, but he paused with a hand on the doorframe to look back at Matthieu with a warm smile.

 

“Don’t take it personally. That’s just how she is.” The amusement was still plain in his voice. It was unnerving. “I wouldn’t keep her waiting too long, though. She’s pretty handy with that staff.”

 

Matthieu swallowed hard. The door shut behind them and he ran a hand over his face, exhaling hard and closing his eyes.

 

The biggest one they could trap? Andraste’s tits.

 

* * *

 

“One more thing, Inquisitor.”

 

Tasnim glanced up as Leliana stepped forward, proffering an envelope. She took it, flipping it over in her hands and examining the wax seal.

 

“This came for you late in the day. I thought I would pass it along myself.” She paused, waiting until Tasnim looked up to meet her eyes again. “I must admit some curiosity. I had no knowledge of any direct dealings you made with the Bonfils.”

 

“I needed something specific.” Tasnim kept her voice flat. “I wanted to handle it myself.”

 

Leliana narrowed her eyes for just a moment, then looked down with a small sigh. She’d learned that it was better not to press the Inquisitor about her small secrets, and besides, they both knew she’d find out one way or another.

 

“Goodnight then, Inquisitor,” Leliana called, not looking up from her papers as Tasnim murmured a goodbye and turned to go. The door latched behind her, and Tasnim tried to look as casual as possible as she strode through Josephine’s offices.

 

Tasnim broke the seal as she walked across the great hall, flipping open the envelope and sliding the message out. As she began to ascend the staircase to her quarters she read, unable to wait any longer to know what it said.

 

_Your Worship,_

_We found one. The biggest one we could find, like you asked for. It’s about 18 hands, but we can’t get close enough to know for sure. Not sure about the sex, either – same reason._

_I’ll be completely honest, no one feels safe enough to bring it to you, so you’ll have to send your own people or come get it yourself. I am so sorry._

_Very respectfully yours,_

_Matthieu Bonfils_

_P.S._

_Please hurry. It’s been eyeballing our barn cats all week._

There was an attached drawing of a spiky creature next to a very vaguely defined human. If the scale of the drawing was correct, it looked absolutely massive. As she reached the top of the stairs, she set the message down on the bannister, allowing a small smile to take control of her mouth.

 

* * *

 

 

“Inquisitor, if you have a moment?”

 

Tasnim swung herself off of her dracolisk before turning her eyes to the messenger, beckoning her closer. Bull wasn’t far behind, clambering off of his monster of a horse. If this was it, she didn’t want him hearing about it too soon.

 

“It’s here.” The messenger glanced nervously at Tasnim’s dracolisk as it clicked and gouged at the ground with taloned feet, watching the goings-on of its mistress with cold eyes.  “And it’s… Inquisitor, it’s really, really big. Dennet’s in a right state.”

 

Tasnim nodded, one corner of her mouth flickering upwards. “You’re dismissed, Alden.”

 

Alden blinked as Tasnim’s attention turned to the stablehands who’d come to take the horses. The Inquisitor had never called her by name before. She’d never known the Inquisitor even knew her name, and with that ringing in her mind, she hurried off - a report needed to get to Cullen next, and it would be on her head if it didn’t make it.

 

Tasnim took a tight hold on the reins of her beast. It didn’t have a good reputation for obeying the stable hands, and besides, walking it back on her own gave her an excuse to give the new arrival a good once-over.

 

“See you in the tavern?” Bull's voice pulled her from her thoughts as she walked past him, and she nodded, sneaking him a small smile. He returned it, after a confused pause, and walked past.

 

* * *

 

“Bull.”

 

“Yeah, boss?” He looked up from his ale, leaning back from the war of a dice game some of the chargers were waging amongst each other. Krem threw up his hands, crowing something about loaded dice and Skinner howled with laughter as Grim scooped the massive pile of coins towards himself, as deadpan as ever.

 

“I’ve got something to show you.” Tasnim leaned her hip on his chair, eyes softer than they’d been in a long time. “If you have some time.”

 

“I think I’d like to see it.” He liked the look of her, how relaxed she looked. Whatever it was, it was probably something good, and he gave her a half-grin, letting one hand slide downwards to squeeze her calf. 

 

She jerked her head towards the door, standing straight and walking towards it. He pushed himself up to follow, and as he caught up with her on the way out, she glanced up at him – that little smile again. Something was going on. Maybe she’d been drinking on her own.

 

To his surprise, she walked directly past the stairs to the great hall and started to descend to the lower courtyard. He followed in silence. It wasn’t so bad to be along for the ride, but he had no idea what was going on and it was starting to make his horns itch.

 

When they reached the barn, Tasnim leaned against one of the stable walls, looking up at him. So this was it? She wanted a romp around out here? Not what he would have expected from her, but Bull stepped forward anyway, setting a hand on her waist. Tasnim shook her head, then tilted it down towards the row of stalls.

 

Bull furrowed his brow and stepped back, giving her another curious look. He paced down the aisle, glancing into the stalls, one by one. Tasnim watched, heart pounding in her chest as she leaned off the beam to trail behind.

 

Horses, horses, more horses, but then in the second to last stall, he found it.

 

The sight of it almost knocked him flat on his ass.  

 

The drakolisk was massive, built like a draft horse, black as pitch and studded up and down with wicked spikes. It cocked its head, yellow eyes glinting in the torchlight, and let out a low, clicking hiss.

 

Bull looked from it to Tasnim, speechless.

 

She raised her eyebrows and nodded, leaning on a stall door and folding her arms.

 

For a split second Bull stared in disbelief at the creature, then turned to look at her, beaming.

 

“ _Kadan_.” He strode back across the aisle and pushed her back against the stall door, kissing her hard. Tasnim couldn’t hold it back anymore and an unrestrained grin split her face as he leaned back to look down at her. “You’re the _fucking_ best!”

 

Tasnim's smile only widened and she leaned up to kiss him again, cupping his cheeks.

 

“Go on. Get acquainted,” she murmured, releasing his face and watching him as he turned to face the dracolisk. It leaned out to sniff him, scrutinizing the hand he offered, and then snapped at him with a screech and a hiss. Bull let out a loud barking laugh, and Tasnim laughed softly along as he dodged another snap of the dracolisk’s jaws, wrapping an arm around its muzzle and wrestling its head down as it stamped and huffed.

 


End file.
